When Kids Hurt Parents
|
|
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes wound us deeply, to the very core of our soul. The hurtful words of our children can scar us like no other. They are capable of hurting us with the deepest kind of hurt. When the words "I hate you" spurt forth from the mouth of a five year old in the throes of a temper tantrum we tend to overlook them. When words such as those are hurled at us from the lips of our teenage or adult offspring they cut sharper than any blade forged from steel. The wound can fester leaving us open and vulnerable to future hurt. We forgive them. They're our children, we love them so how can we not forgive them? Yet the pain of such damaging words still lingers. In the back of a parent's mind, it is only natural that doubt should remain. Did he really mean what he said or was it just anger talking? Does my child really hate me? Have I failed as a parent?
We're only human so we're bound to question ourselves. We automatically assume that our offspring are acting out due to our own inadequacies as a parent. We are left feeling a jumble of mixed emotions. We feel angry with our children for the tone they've taken with us; we feel angry with ourselves for not raising them better but most of all we feel hurt. We wonder what we've done to deserve such treatment. Times have changed. Children are more outspoken and candid with their parents but a change of times should not warrant disrespect. As a teenager I would have never treated my mother with the type of disrespect that is so common these days. Certainly we had our moments like every parent and child but I would not have deliberately spoken out against her with malice or contempt.
Many parents tend to blame themselves to the point that they will utterly deny any disrespect directed toward them from their own children. This is done more to protect themselves rather than their offspring. To admit disrespect on the part of their children would be to admit failure on their part. Parents shouldn't always blame themselves for the shortcomings of their daughters and sons. We do the best we can and each child is different as is each parent. It used to be that parents expected too much of their children. Although that still occurs, it seems the roles have reversed to some extent. Now, children expect too much of their parents. This is due in part to the commercialism and competitiveness of the world we live in. Society is one huge commercial venture.
Oftentimes parents are expected to have better jobs, nicer cars and bigger houses. If they can't provide their offspring with fat allowances and the newest name brand clothes they may be labeled a bad parent. Many teenagers have an issue with respect. They fully expect others to treat them with respect but they certainly don't know how to treat others, including their own parents, the same way. Teaching kids good old fashioned values may work for some but definitely not all. Sadly, it appears the temptations of today's world seem to be winning out. Perhaps, divine justice will prevail when our children reap what they sow through their own children.
Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at darzagata@yahoo.com
|
|
|
A Chart For Everything
For every season, check, check, check,There is a chart, check, check, check, And a chart can replace...(related: Parenting)
Understanding The Report
"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report about the testing results. I won't understand it...(related: Parenting)
Bad Boys/good Boys (avoiding The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad)
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing. A father andhis son had entered the men's room. While I was washing myhands, I listened as the father wielded a series ofdemanding and demeaning statements at his son as if theywere swords in a battle for ... who knows ...(related: Parenting)
The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind Of Calm In The Family
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there in the name of the Better Behavior Wheel, invented by Julie Butler and her family in central British Columbia. In an interesting twist on charts and discipline, this versatile wheel can be hung on a wall or toted with you in the car and on vacations.It's a way to get whole family involvement, and a little bit of humor to get us over the discipline bumps. Kayla Fay, publisher of Who Put the K...(related: Parenting)
The 411 On Natural Colic Remedies
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell you that colic is one of the most excruciating experiences ever imaginable. Nothing is worse than seeing one's baby in pain and not being able to help take it away. Finding relief for colic quickly becomes a top priority. There are many different colic remedies that may come to the rescue for your particular baby. Each baby is unique and may only respond to some or a combination of colic remedies. Unfortunately, parents may have to use the old trial and error method to determine which provide the greatest amount of relief for their ...(related: Parenting)
Tips For Parents Of Teenagers: Dont Just Survive - Thrive!
What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research study reports that feeling "unprepared" tops the list for many parents' causes of dissatisfaction. And parents of teenagers, in particular, may feel this acutely as so many changes converge at once: adolescents are changing in every conceivable way while they often push parents away in their search for individuality. That this often happens during parents'...(related: Parenting)
Top Ten Ways To Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children is the best way to ensure that they live a happy, successful, and responsible life as an adult. Here are ten ways to help your kids attain a high degree of emotional intelligence:1. Model emotional intelligence yourselfYes, your kids are watching very closely. They see how you respond to frustration, they see how resilient you are, and they see whether you're aware of your own feelings and the feelings of others.2. Be willing to say "no" to your kids...(related: Parenting)
Selecting A Quality Day Care Center
Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care center to care for their child during the workday. We've listed important aspects of a daycare center's environment to evaluate when making your choice:Staff to Child Ratio. This is the number of children each staff member is responsible for. Most states regulate the minimum number of staff to child ratio. This will vary based on your state and the ages of the children. An average guideline follows, but check with your state department for what to expect in your area.
- An infant room...(related: Parenting)
Teach Your Kids To Cook Well, Eliminating Excessive Health Care Needs In The Future
We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that has not only attacked the United States, but internationally as well. To keep our children healthy and keep health care costs down, we must examine even the simplest angles to prevent this problem.33% of boys and 27% of girls are considered overweight according to the American Obesity Association's latest numbers. 15% of children are obese.It is necessary to educate our children about healthy eating and proper physical fitness before their weight gets out of control...(related: Parenting)
Remember The Generation Gap?
The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children is as old as.. well, parents having children. It's not an easy job, either for the parent or the child. But, the key to any relationship inside or outside the family is the ability to rela...(related: Parenting)
Over-indulgence And Over-attentiveness - Two Dangers Parents Must Avoid!
We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. Butthere's another parenting practice that can be equallyharmful: over-atte...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Baby Care Info | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting