Using Pocket-money To Promote Independence In Kids
|
|
In seminars I am often asked about pocket-money and whether it should be earned or only given when children behave well.
My belief is that children should receive pocket-money as their small share of the family-wealth just as they should share the workload at home. This is not to say that the family income is divided equally between all members. Rather, children are given a realistic sum of money, given their age, needs and ability to deal with money.
It makes sense to provide guidelines about spending including letting them know just what they are expected to buy. A child in lower primary school may get enough to purchase some sweets and one or two other items, whereas a child in upper primary school may get enough to cover lunch orders, bus money and some treats. An allowance that covers clothing can be useful for adolescents who can be very costly to outfit in the latest fashions. Let them know you will buy the basics items and that they can make up the difference between brand names and basic items from their pocket-money.
Pocket-money can teach children a great deal about goal-setting. By encouraging children to save for a big ticket item such as a bike or skateboard children learn a great deal about planning and looking ahead, the value of budgeting and experience personal satisfaction of reaching a goal
When used in this way, pocket-money is an excellent way to develop independence in children and young people.
But my children don't spend money wisely! It helps if you give them guidance from the start and also insist that they divide their pocket-money three ways ? some for spending, some for the future and some for charity or a social service. I am loathe to interfere too much in their spending as it is their share of the wealth and they need to have some control over their spending. However there are times when for children's own long-term best interests that parents need to step in. For instance, if a child has a weight-problem and he or she is always buying sweets then parental interference is the best option. It is about knowing your child and using common sense.
Should children be given pocket-money if they misbehave? It is wisest to keep pocket-money and behaviour separate. Parents can get themselves into also sorts of bother and cause a great deal of resentment in children when they withdraw pocket-money until they behave better. Look for other ways to promote good behaviour rather than withholding their allowance.
How often should pocket-money be given? It helps if pocket-money is given regularly. Like adults children should have a pay day each week or fortnight when they receive their share of the family wealth. Give it to them in coins so they can easily allocate it to different uses.
At what age can I start with pocket-money? You can start giving pocket-money to children as young at four and cut it out on their fifteenth birthday so they are encouraged to get a part-time job. For four and five year olds give them a couple of coins and relate them to two items that you routinely buy for them as treats. Let them know they can buy these themselves or put their money in a money-box for later.
The use of pocket-money is one way to remove pressure children place on their parents to buy, buy, buy. When they come home from school and ask you to buy the latest toy because all their friends have one you can let them know that they can purchase it or at least make a contribution from their personal wealth.
For more practical ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people read Michael's best selling parenting book - One Step Ahead. It is available at the shop at www.parentingideas.com.au.
Michael Grose is a leading parent educator. he is the author of six book and 300 articles, and he gives over 100 presentations a year.
For more ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient young people subscribe to Happy Kids, Michael's Grose's free fortnightly email newsletter for parents. Get a free report Seven ways to reduce sibling fighting when you subscribe at http://www.parentingideas.com.au
|
|
|
Lead With Love:how Mothers Can Use Their Greatest Strength To Manage Around Their Technical Weakness
My wife and I have been working on a video scrapbook for our son now for about a year. The project originally started out as a movie of all of our video clips but it was immediately apparent that this scope was far too great. As time went by and as more and more full DV tapes stacked up, we narrowed the scope to be just the first six months of his life instead.But even this seemed to be a Herculean task. Where were we going to find the time to go through all of our tapes and catalog clips into their subjects and time indexes? Add this to the time it takes to transfer the footage to the PC, assimilate the clips in order, narrate specific clips, add music, transitions, titles, make a DVD menu and burn it to DVD and you can see that the time costs seem to far outweigh the return.But this value assessment is only hal...(related: Parenting)
How Do You Find The Best Car Seat To Protect Your Child
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is a prime consideration for any new parent. To give your child the best chance of escaping injury in the event of a collision, you'll need to a car seat suited to your child's age and weight.To choose a proper car seat, you'll need to understand that there are three main types of car seats for children. These are: infant ...(related: Parenting)
The Challenges Of Single Parenting
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written books on parenting and relationships, I've discovered that one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models for our children, showing our children through our behavior how to take personal responsibility for their own feelings and needs. Our children need to learn from our role-modeling how to nurture themselves within and how to create a sense of safety in the world. In families where both a mother and father are present, both parents can participate in nurturing the child emotionally and taking care of the child in the world, and bot...(related: Parenting)
Adhd: Some Survival Strategies For Parents
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested Survival Strategies for parents, and then asked readers to contribute some of their thoughts or tips. Since this newsletter is already running pretty long, I'll only list a few of them below. Thank you to all of you who contributed!
Laugh. Be silly with your kids. Humor is a life saver with 'high-impact' children. --Laurie O'
I really enjoyed your newsletter. I am a School Psychologist and find your information valuable. I also taught Learning Disabled children for many year-some of them ADD or ADHD. I used to suggest to my parents to organize little boxes filled with activities for those "I'm Bored" times. Each box should have a different activity-sometimes having specific directions-sometimes permitting the child to be creative with whatever is in the box. (This is kin...(related: Parenting)
Registering A Birth In Scotland
Who Can Register A Birth?The child's mother or father should register the birth within 21 days. However, a father who is not married to the child's mother can only register a birth and be named on the birth certificate as the father if:
- he jointly signs the register with the mother, or
- a court has declared that he is the father, or
- the mother and he jointly sign a declaration available from the Registrar.
- any person present at the birth,...(related: Parenting)
5 Tips For Talking To Your Children About What They See In The News
Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last week, the world was shaken by another terrorist attack. Hot on the heels of the Live 8 benefits and in the middle of the G8 Summit, bombs exploded in London. Adults around the globe were glued to CNN and spent time discussing their feelings about the event around the water cooler at work, with their partners at home or in online discussion groups and e-mails. Collectively, we reached out and were comforted and reassured by the words of Prime Mi...(related: Parenting)
Blended Families Can Be Successful
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It would be easy to give up when faced with all the conflicting methods of parenting and discipline that come to a family who has joined forces together.As I was doing research for a recent book, I interviewed a young counselor at a youth camp. I was impressed with her sincerity, maturity, and gra...(related: Parenting)
Gifts From The Heart: Moms Remember...
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece of bubble gum stuck to a safety pin; a pink chewed mass mistakenly rescued from the trash years before. However, to its owner, this cherished keepsake is a bejeweled treasure-still worn with extreme pride. For you see, this is more than it appears. It was made with love, given with delight, and received with a grateful heart-a gift from a young son on Mother's Day.Since May 9, 1914 when the second Sunday in May was declared "Mother's Day", children and fathers have looked for meaningful ways to recognize and celebrate those unsung heroes in their lives: their mothers. I recently had the great pleasure of conversing with several Moms, and asked them about the "best gifts" they have ever received on Mother's Day. Here is a little of what they had to...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Your Teenager: The Trust Issue
Q. How do we decide what our teens should be able to do? How do they earn trust and responsibility?A. Good questions. One way is to determine how much trust the teen-ager has earned.To use a banking metaphor, if the teen-ager has made enough deposits in the ``trust bank,'' then he or she has earned the privilege of making a few withdrawals - that is, the teen has...(related: Parenting)
The Ten Things That Successful Parents Do
1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong. They do it themselves.2. They have a vision for their family and its future, one that is discussed and shared often. And they support the vision with clearly articulated, clarified and communicated values and beliefs. Every action, behaviour, and decision is taken with those values and beliefs firmly in mind. They constantly emphasize the relationship between family successes and acting in accordance with the values and beliefs. They make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Everybody is clear o...(related: Parenting)
Develop Your Childs Genius: One Step Farther
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show his genius? When he goes beyond the usual, beyond the obvious. When he goes one step far...(related: Parenting)
Teenagers Taking Risks
It can be hard being a parent with a teen going through what I term the 'I'm Invincible' phase. This is the phase when teens start doing scary and dangerous things (according to us parents) as a way of...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Baby Care Info | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting