The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps To Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children
|
|
What you say and do about money has a profound influence on your child. There are money moments every day that you can use to teach your children important skills and lessons about life. But what to say or do isn't always obvious. Is it a good idea to pay for chores or grades? How do you help your child develop a work ethic? How do you structure an allowance to help your child learn to make choices? Why is involving your children in charity so important? Eileen and Jon Gallo, experts in the fields of children, psychology and money, provide parents with eight key behaviors that will help them raise financially responsible children:
1. Encourage a work ethic
Work ethic is a learned behavior, and parents are the best models to teach kids to acquire it. If you want your children to work hard and derive meaning and satisfaction from what they do, make sure you are modeling the right messages. Insisting your kids do their homework and help around the house does not guarantee they will grow up with a sense of accountability and a desire to achieve. Developing a work ethic in your child is a holistic process and the eight money behaviors of a financially intelligent parent are keys to this process.
2. Get your own money stories straight
Because you send your children messages about money all the time, it is imperative that both you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to your money stories. A money story is an open, honest and personal story of your relationship with financial issues, especially as you grew up because most people's relationship with money developed during childhood. You need to identify why you feel the way you do about money so you can send coherent and consistent messages to your kids. When both parents focus on their money stories, children receive positive messages. Getting your money stories straight does not just mean that you agree on basic issues such as allowances and college savings. It also means that both of you have agreed to identify certain basic money values you want to teach your children, such as giving is good, working hard is its own reward, and you don't always get everything you want.
3. Facilitate financial reflection
As with most decisions kids make, when it comes to money decisions they are frequently impulsive. As a financially intelligent parent, you want to teach your children how to think in terms of choices, alternatives and consequences. This is called reflective thinking. Learning how to reflect both before and after making a decision is a great life skill, and one that is the hallmark of people who make good choices in everything from careers to relationships to investments. Financially intelligent parents teach their children to evaluate financial consequences based on available choices rather than making impulsive decisions. As a result, children recognize that there are many options available and they acquire the skill to make good choices.
4. Become a charitable family
By teaching your children that they can do more with money than spend it on themselves, you encourage them to become more compassionate and caring. By participating as a family in volunteer and community activities, you help your children develop empathy and a sense of responsibility to others. Your children will realize they have the power to make life better for others. Because children learn through modeling behavior, you have to do more than write a check to charity. You need to show your children what it means to help others. Modeling charitable behaviors, including volunteerism, can jump start your child's empathy and desire to help others.
5. Teach financial literacy
Although it is important to teach children how to balance a checkbook and create a budget, to become truly financially literate your children must learn within a context of values and money behaviors. Your children need a combination of concrete examples, their own experiences and financial reflection. If they do not learn to behave responsibly with money as kids, they will have to learn as adults when the cost is much higher. One of the best tools to teach your children financial literacy is an allowance. Approaching allowances in a consistently constructive way allows you to instill decision-making wisdom in your children rather than controlling them. An allowance also helps your children gain a well-balanced perspective about money, encouraging saving, investing and giving, in addition to spending.
6. Awareness of the values you model
Your children are tuned in to your purchasing decisions. The ways you spend your money sends messages to your children about your values and life priorities. Children also notice how you spend your time and your actions can unintentionally send messages you did not intend your children to receive. When you miss opportunities to spend time with your children in order to put in extra hours at work or manage your money, you are sending a message that money is more important than family. Financially intelligent parents are highly conscious of their spending habits, as well as how they balance their work and family time, and the values they communicate.
7. Moderate extreme money tendencies
Extreme money tendencies can evolve into money disorders which cause chaos within your family and send the wrong messages to your children. There are several types of money disorders, ranging from excessive shopping to racking up credit card debt to excessive frugality. Regardless of the disorder, extreme money tendencies cause your children to experience confusion and insecurity in their lives. Financially intelligent parents learn to recognize and moderate extreme money behaviors.
8. Talking about the tough topics
Parents avoid talking about financial topics that make them uncomfortable or that seem too complicated. Although you model good money behaviors in certain ways, unless you compliment these behaviors with good money conversations, you are not being as effective as you could be. Financially intelligent parents recognize teachable times each day that give you and your children the opportunity to talk about financial issues. You should welcome these opportunities, as difficult as they are, to discuss and reflect on financial decisions.
A free-reprint article written by: Eileen Gallo, Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D, © 2005
Reprint Terms
- You can publish this article electronically in publications, websites, and ezines as long as the bylines and hyperlinks are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article in unsolicitedcommercial email. This article MUST be distributed viaopt-in email only.
- If you use this article we request that you send a copy or link that contains the article to dsafkow@fiparent.com.
Eileen Gallo, Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D. are experts on children, families and money, and the authors of The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children (New American Library/Penguin Group). For more financially intelligent parenting tips and tools, visit http://www.FIParent.com.
|
|
|
Back To School Care Packages!
I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness as my oldest daughter prepares for her freshman year of college at the University of Maryland in the fall. She has already told me I am to send care packages.So it was neat to receive a school sponsored offer in the mail "aiming for 100% participation" for the care packages they were selling! What could be more fun for her and easier for me than ready-made packages with my "personal, handwritte...(related: Parenting)
Am I Really A Stroller-monger?
I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column in Maclean's Magazine written by a fellow humor columnist. Writing about it now is a bit like a painter painting another painter or a singer singing about another singer (but it not l...(related: Parenting)
Misplaced Passion
"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys on my back? Will the result of my action be a blessing or a heavy burden?" --Alfred A. MontapertIt's that time of year again. Plans are underway for end-of-year recitals, end-of-year concerts, and end-of-year teacher appreciation brunches. I'm in the midst of them, getting ready for violin book graduations, three orchestra concerts, and a middle school graduation. The high school has already phoned asking for my contribution to Teacher Appreciation Day.These are exciting times, but unfortunately they can also be times of unnecessary stress. One reason: misplaced passion.One of the things brought to my attention over and over again in my ROCKET MOM! seminars is the ...(related: Parenting)
Children Need Roots And Wings
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe first time I heard this quote, it made me think. The two sound contradictory - roots and wings: one to tie us to the ground and the other to enable us to fly away.As I thought about it, however, I realized that, in fact, it clearly summed up the two primary responsibilities we have as parents: to provide a safe, nurturing e...(related: Parenting)
Paediatric Osteopathy
All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't sleeping or is just plain irritable, many parents have found that a paediatric osteopath can help, par...(related: Parenting)
Raising Boys
The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness of the issues surrounding boys in most of the western world. It is common knowledge that boys lead the way in all the wron...(related: Parenting)
Examining Drugs For Adhd, Particularly Strattera
In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year old Stephanie Hall; and 10 year old Shaina Dunkle and other children who have died from the use of psychotropic drugs for "ADHD".The Eli Lilly company has been...(related: Parenting)
Parent Involvement: Finding Your Way In Middle School And High School
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to help the room mother, reading a story to the class, or helping out at the science fair. Your child is happy - proud even-to have you be a part of his classroom activities. But then comes middle school. It's a new world."No, Mom...(related: Parenting)
Raising Strong Daughters
When my daughter was born, I must admit there wasa distinctly different feeling to it. Part of me was thrilled, but part of me was unsure of how to deal with a gender I still couldn't quite understand.When my son was born, there was a clear sense thatthis was territory that I knew: there will bewrestling, playing ball together, playing withcars and, he has a penis! There was a sense ofsecurity from all of this and a deep sense ofknowing.Raising a daughter creates different issues formany fathers; it is even more challengingconsidering the cultural landscape that existstoday.To better understand these is...(related: Parenting)
The Classic Adhd Child Reminds Me Of Tigger
ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What has become known as "classic ADHD" is characterized by Inattention, Impulsivity, Hyperactivity, Restlessness, and Disorganization. This type of ADHD reminds us of Tigger from the Winnie the Pooh stories. Dr. Daniel Amen refers to this type of ADHD as "Classic ADHD" for good reasons. When you think about someone who has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorde...(related: Parenting)
A Dads Thoughts On Dads Day
21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read in the next five to eight minutes will not qualify as one of the top ten professionally written articles of the year: guaranteed.But you will read this, guaranteed: thoughts created on Father's Day from a guy who loves being a dad.21 REASONS I LOVE BEING A DAD... AND AN OLDER ONE AT THATI love the privilege of seeking to inspire, encourage and help my children.I love loving their mother.I love the home movies I experience. The live ones. The in house "reality shows" if you please. Kids raggin' on each other, telling mom and dad stories one more time, hugs at the door, serious discussions begun spontaneously, phone calls to say "Hi, I love you," and small hands pressed on a g...(related: Parenting)
Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is perhaps the biggest challenge facing adults today. Children's disagreements both at home and at school can be noisy, physical and psychologically hurtful. The approach to conflict resolution learned and practised in childhood often stays for life.Conflict is part of daily living. Effective people resolve conflict in ways that protect relationships, honour feelings and lead to a resolution. They neither avoid conflict nor do they use power to dominate others or win conflict.It is useful for parents to...(related: Parenting)
Adhd Treatment: Strategy And Philosophy
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder during the summer, or winter months, and if your child or teen is not a danger to himself or to someone else, we recommend that you try diet and nutritional interventions first and see if they work. Try our Eating Program/Diet and order the VAXA products "Attend" and "Extress". Use them for at least 60 days along with the Eating Program/Diet. It will take 30 to 45 days to really know whether or not this will be sufficient as an intervention. Give it time.
The Eating Program for ADHD is effective in about 25% of cases just by itself. The Attend is effective in 70% of cases by itself. When combined in a strategy using the Eating Program, the Attend, and other targeted nutraceutical medicines recommended in our specific treatment strategi...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Baby Care Info | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting