Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own
|
|
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he asked, "Mom, will we always have Tanner?"
Tanner is the family dog, and at twelve-years old, her health is quickly deteriorating.
"No, Ford," I said gently, "we won't always have Tanner. She is old, and she won't always be with us."
"But if she's not with us," he asked, "who will have her?"
Ever since I became a mother 4 years ago, I've been preparing myself for the tough questions-Why am I here? Where do babies come from? Who shot JFK?-but I admit I wasn't ready for life's greatest question in the middle of a diaper change.
I answered carefully. "Ford, when someone is no longer with us, they go to live with Jesus in Heaven."
A tear made its way down Ford's cheek as he said, "Well, I don't want any other dog after she's gone."
One week later I stood behind my grandmother as her husband of 63 years was buried into the ground. Grandpa lived to be 93, so there was much to give praise for, but I was tormented by one thing. He never saw my sons, his only great-grandchildren.
"Can he see us now?" I wondered silently. "Is he looking down from Heaven and finally seeing the boys?"
My other grandfather, Big Jack, died when I was pregnant with Ford. He too never saw my children. And now, today, I have no more grandfathers. No white-headed men to pat my boys' heads and slip them forbidden candy.
But like Ford, I don't want anyone to replace Big Jack and Grandpa. The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, "But we would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep." Big Jack and Grandpa are gone, but someday we will meet again, and something in my heart tells me they are still here, watching and smiling.
As we left the funeral, I thought back to my conversation with Ford. Very soon he will have to say goodbye to Tanner. I hope I have prepared him well enough.
But then again, as I remember the timing of his question right before my grandfather's funeral, could it be that God was actually preparing me?
Sarah Smiley, Copyright 2004
About The Author
++You may reprint the above column on your website so long as the following is included the URL address is actively hyperlinked back++
THIS MUST BE INCLUDED: Copyright 2004 Sarah Smiley http://www.SarahSmiley.com - Sarah Smiley's syndicated column Shore Duty appears weekly in newspapers across the country.
|
|
|
Top 10 Things To Never Believe From Your Teenager
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just keeping it for someone else.Yeah right. The next question for the parent to ask is, "If you are keeping this for your friend, what is your friend keeping for you?" One of the reasons parents can get fooled here is that you so desperately want to believe that it is not theirs and they are not doing drugs. It's important to remember that this is something your teen might be counting on.2) When caught with drugs - This is just the first time I've tried it.Unlikely. Usually when kids get caught...(related: Parenting)
Break Free From Power Struggles
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the party. She wants to wear jeans. You want your toddler to take his medicine. He does everything he can to keep that yucky stuff out of his mouth. The more you insist, the more they resist. You can break free from power struggles and turn turbulence into positive growth opportunities by putting a few helpful tips in place:
* Step back and view the big picture. How do you respond ...(related: Parenting)
Invented Spelling --- Another Alice-in-wonderland Public-school Theory
As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many public schools now teach what they call "invented" or "creative" spelling. Under this theory of spelling, teachers believe that forcing a child to spell a word correctly thwarts the child's "creativity." So in classrooms across America, many public-school teachers now encourage children to spe...(related: Parenting)
Finding Answers To Underachievement
Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult and complex process. Let intuition be your guide, knowing when and how to ask the right questions. Here are 7 steps to get you started:1. Narrow the Problem.By the time a family member or teacher steps in to help an underachieving child, it may be months or years since problems may have first appeared. It can be extremely difficult sorting out the source of difficulties, and what problems (depression, anxiety, apathy) are primary or secondary. Nevertheless, narrowing the problem is often the most fi...(related: Parenting)
Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own
I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he asked, "Mom, will we always have Tanner?"Tanner is the family dog, and at twelve-years old, her health is quickly deteriorating."No, Ford," I said gently, "we won't always have Tanner. She is old, and she won't always be with us.""But if she's not with us," he asked, "who will have her?"Ever since I became a mother 4 years ago, I've been preparing myself for the tough questions-Why am I here? Where do babies come from? Who shot JFK?-but I admit I wasn't ready for life's greatest question in the middle of a diaper change.I answered carefully. "Ford, when someone is no longer with us, they go to live with Jesus in Heaven."A tear made its way down Ford's cheek as he said, "Well, I don't want an...(related: Parenting)
Unilateral Disarmament - The First Step To Improving Communications With Your Teenagers
Many times, we are so conditioned in how we speak that we do not realize whether or not we are effectively communicating with our teens. This is especially true when they upset us.To ensure that you are fostering an environment that will encourage your teenager to talk to you, as opposed to fearing you, the first step is to evaluate your communication style. How you express yourself and what...(related: Parenting)
How To Set Healthy Limits At Work
Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus newpaper. My skills were growing and I was earning a reputation as a solid reporter.I was miserable.If I wasn't in class, I was out inverviewing sources or toiling in the newsroom. I missed seeing my friends at the dorm, got little sleep and swigged Maalox to get through the afternoons. And still my desk editor pressured me to be more productive.Then an adult advisor gave me an insight I've never forgotten...(related: Parenting)
You Want Whaaat???
Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with a very special request... one that not every father gets from his loving daughter. I was sitting in front of the TV after a hard day at work and while I was fidgeting with the defective cable company-provided remote (the one the kids only know how to operate) trying to find a movie I hadn't yet seen ten times already on cable, she blurts out, "Dad, can I have a breast reduction?"Now, if you're a parent then you know there exists a certain 'conditioning' that occurs over the years when responding to questions from our children, especially if your at...(related: Parenting)
Creating Great Birthday Party Videos
My son recently had his third birthday party and it was mayhem. There were kids all over the place doing all sorts of funny things with parents following them around trying to prevent the next catastrophe. Believe it or not, this environment makes for a fantastic video. The key is to plan a little before heading into the chaos.Sequence of ActivitiesFirst think in general terms about the sequence of events that go into a party. At first, all you may envision are children running around and the best strategy is to sit back, and tape events as they occur from a safe, comfortable distance. After all, how can you possibly control how your vi...(related: Parenting)
10 Things You Can Do To Help A Shy Child
There are a few points about shyness in children which will help you better understand the best approach in dealing with your child. You will need to identify the nature of your child's shyness. Children are shy in different ways for different reasons. Understanding the nature of your child's shyness will help you develop a program geared towards your child's specific needs. Here are some tips to help you get started.1. First of all, are you sure your child really is shy? Some children like to size up a situation before they jump in. Caution should not be misunderstood as shyness.2. You'll need to find out the type of situations that make your c...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Baby Care Info | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting