Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!
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Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.Yet I shouldn't have felt that way!
My wife had left for work and I was hanging the washing outto dry. A neighbour from down the way was in his backyarddoing the same. 'Good day for drying', he called. 'Let'shope the rain stays away.'
I had to think about what made me uneasy. Then it hit me.Two men hanging out the washing!
When I was a kid that would never have happened. That was women's work, after all!
And that made me think about the changing role of menandfatherhood.
Change is seldom easy, hence the deeply buriedsense of unease - even in someone like me who considershimself an enlightened individual!
The image of fatherhood has changed very much in recentyears, hasn't it?
We've come a long way from the distant, unemotional,patriarch figure. The god-like master who provided for hisfamily, but didn't expect to be troubled by family issues!
After World War II there was a definite shift. Men becamemuch more involved in the play and leisure areas of familylife.
Maybe this was due to the separation caused by the war andconsequent feelings of vulnerability. But men still didn'tget involved in household chores!
Today we see a much more enlightened image of the male as aco-parent, getting involved in all aspects of family lifeand pulling his weight in the home.
Or do we? . . .
Are we really there yet? Some men are movingin the right direction. Others need a gentle push!
Perhaps they need encouragement more than anything.
Young boys tend to see their dads as role models and oftenabsorb, even unconsciously, their dads attitudes and habits.So if some of today's dads haven't witnessed and experiencedthe input of an involved father, the role may not comeeasily to them.
And yet a dad's involvement in family life has so muchbenefit both for the children, the mother and the dadhimself.
By pulling their weight with the household chores Dads givea good example to their kids AND they help ease the burdenon an all too often over-burdened Mum.
By getting involved in play and educational activities Dadscan help build that vital relationship on which confidencedepends - their own confidence as parents and the confidenceof their kids:
- to explore and discover their talents andabilities
- to learn the boundaries within which they mustoperate
- to absorb the values of the person in charge ofthem.
So much to be gained, for all parties involved!
So if Dad is a rather reluctant participant in familymatters, remember that as well as a firm push he may need lots of encouragement.
After all, the role may not come easily since hundreds of years on non-involvement are in his genes.
Let's all look forward to the day when hanging up thelaundry is no big deal for a Dad!
Happy parenting.
Why do some parents and children succeed, while othersfail?Frank McGinty is an internationally published author andteacher. If you want to develop your parentingskills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
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