Parenting Your Teenager: 8 Things You Need To Be Doing
|
|
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing up in is not the world in which we grew up. In case you ever doubt that, here is what author and speaker Josh McDowell has said on the subject: "The average teenage boy is exposed to more sexual stimulation on the way to school than his grandfather was on Saturday night when he was looking for it." The next four suggestions are more specific ways to get into their world:
Listen to their music. When I begin to work with a teenager in my counseling office, one of the first things I have them do is bring in a couple of their favorite CDs and we listen to them. Other people in my office building wonder what the heck is going on but that is OK because it keeps me in touch with what is being pumped into their heads all day long. As a parent of a teen, you especially need to know what is going into their heads.
Watch what they watch. Not only do you need to watch the TV programs and movies your teen is watching, you also need to watch the commercials and other advertising aimed at kids. What is the message behind the commercial? Most are something like this: "You are a loser without this product, and you will be cool and popular with this product." Our kids are being taught to be non-thinking consumers from day one. Why do you think they call it programming?
Walk the halls. Go to school one day. Take a walk through the halls between classes. I can just about guarantee you that you will be surprised by what you see if you have not yet taken this walk.
Screen time. Here is another example of how much has changed. When you and I were coming up, our parents had to practically drag us inside for dinner. Now parents almost have to force kids outside away from the screens. This is one of the biggest battles going on in many families today. It always amuses me when I talk with parents who complain about how much time their kid spends playing video games. I usually ask the parents if they have ever played the games with their kid. Parents usually look at me like I'm nuts. Not only do you need to know what is going into their heads, just like music and TV, you need to know just how addictive the experience can be. I have a secret suspicion that some parents don't want to play because they do not want to get beat.
Teen Room Makeover. It seems like just about every night on TV something is being "made over," from houses all the way to people! So I thought, why not have a Teen Room Makeover? Get together with your teen, clean everything out, do some painting, maybe some new furniture. You could find some magazines for ideas and examples. This accomplishes at least three things:
You get to clean up and rearrange what could be a disaster area.
If handled right, doing this with your teen can be a time of bonding and fun.
While you are cleaning and rearranging, you may find some things that you did not know about. If you do not find anything that is a problem, that's great. If you do find something that is a problem, now you know about it and can then do something about it.
Vitamin NO. Every now and then, I work with a teen who needs a good dose of vitamin NO. Many parents have not figured out how to administer this vitamin and are either uncomfortable or afraid to do it. Once given the suggestion and "permission," most parents can learn. You have to be prepared for the teen to not like it, and test you to see if you mean it. That is OK though, because a good healthy dose of vitamin NO can eventually cure a raging sense of entitlement.
Vitamin YES. At the same time, teens also need a healthy dose of vitamin YES. Once you have gotten clear on what to say no to, and strong enough to say it, then your yes can really mean something. I tell the teens with whom I work that parents do not stay up late at night trying to create new ways to say no and make your life miserable. Parents like to say yes - to good choices.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
|
|
|
Tracking Your Child Progress
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your child's learningand watch for signs of possible problems. Here are somethings to look for and to discuss with his teacher:Starting at age 3 or 4:Does your child r...(related: Parenting)
Is There Any Real Use For A Fun Quiz?
Q. I don't like my children spending so much time on the computer and playing video games. Can you help me find or develop a fun quiz to stimulate their thinking?A. A fun quiz is an excellent way to keep kids occupied especially during the vacation months when learning takes a hiatus.The key to designing a fun quiz is to keep the subjects relevant to things that interest your chil...(related: Parenting)
Study Skills - Help Young People Study Smarter, Not Harder
Many young people don't know how to study efficiently and effectively. By knowing how to study students maximize their time, improve their learning and also reduce stress. Research indicates that successful students follow smart study habits to maximize their effectiveness.Here are eight smart study habits you can help your secondary school student develop at home:1. Listen carefully when assignments are given at school. Your student should be aware of what each assignment requires and what teachers expect. Careful listening is an often-neglected study skill.2. Study at a suitable time. Students need to set aside regular time within their most productive hours....(related: Parenting)
Speaking On Behalf Of Our Children: Stop Blaming The Victims
How many times have you flipped through the pages of a magazine or newspaper and seen images of children with captions like "Brats," "Bullies," or "Mean and Selfish"? Unfortunately, these are common occurrences in today's media. For some child advocates, these images serve as a call to action: We need to do some...(related: Parenting)
5 Great Tips For Choosing Safe Toys For Your Children
Every children in the world whishes to have toys and every parent trys to give them what they want. So until they grow-up children spend most of their time playing with different toys. If you are careful when you choose toys for your kids you can even consider that you are making an investment. But you have to know if you are making a good investment or not. There are many educative and safe toys. but you can also find many dangerous toys on the market this days. In this article you will find five tips for choosing safe toys for your children. After all every parent is concerned about their children safety.So you should consider this five thighs when you choose a toy: size, shape, surface, strings and supervision.Size: you should avoid buying toys with small part...(related: Parenting)
Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences
If you spend any time in the parenting section of the library or your local bookstore, you will find hundreds of books on disciplining and raising your children. All the leading experts have their own ideas about what works and what doesn't. As a parent, you have your philosophy that you bring to the table. Most of your thoughts come from what you learned as a child. You either liked the way your parents raised you, agreed with some o...(related: Parenting)
Camps For Troubled Teens: Disciplines And Wilderness
Parents looking for a quick fix usually choose troubled teen camps. There are two types of teen camps: boot camps and summer or wilderness camps. They...(related: Parenting)
Mommie Moments ? Taking Time For Yourself
Being a parent is a role that requires a large majority of our attention and time. Whether you have one child or fourteen children, you are more than likely aware that personal time is at a minimal. As a mother your attention is always on demand. There are meals to be made, clothes to be washed, and rooms to be cleaned. Not to mention...(related: Parenting)
What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All
Just the other day, I was talking to some other stay at home moms and asked if they were struggling with any difficulties. "Yes," one piped up almost immediately, "discipline problems with my 6 year old smart mouthknow-it-all! I don't want to spank, and don't, but he seems to laugh at t...(related: Parenting)
Best Investment
Every week I write something about the stock market - how to, when to and where to put your money and how to protect it from loss if you do. This week I want to say something very important to the young folks about success. And you parents take note if your kids are still young.One of these days you are going to graduate from high school and, hopefully, college. Either one fits the bill here - even if you don't graduate.A very small percentage of your peers are going to become very successful. Success in the U.S. is mostly defined as someone who makes a lot of money; that is our usual yardstick. From your graduating class there will be 2 or 3 who make i...(related: Parenting)
Teaching Preschool Color And Shapes With Family Games
My kids just can't get enough of playing games with Mom and Dad--can yours?Sometimes we all take a break in the middle of the day and play a game together. Most of the time, I just make sure we play games so that we all have fun together. I can get so caught up in things that I'll go from one task to the next and forget to have a little fun.Today, after several pleas from my kids, I got out the Uno cards. Today I would be playing with six-year-old Ryan and three-year-old Maegan. In the past, Maegan would sit on my lap and help me with my cards; but today, she wanted to be her "own team"."Yep," she answered and put down a yellow card on top of the pile.Round and round we went, with Maegan putting d...(related: Parenting)
To Clean Or Not To Clean
Before my daughter was born my house was so tidy and immaculate that you could eat off the floor! Dishes were done immediately (no dishwasher here!), the toilet was cleaned every morning and the house was dusted and vacuumed quite frequently. Today? The dishes sit on the counter till the next day when I tip-toe to the kitchen before the baby wakes so I can get it cleaned and put away, the house is vacuumed just when it looks like it needs it and the dust sits even now several inches thick upon all my furniture. Oh, and did I mention the toilets are not cleaned every single day??
It is hard keeping a house clean with a toddler running underfoot. Especially o...(related: Parenting)
Quality Time With Your Teen
It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with your teen without totally intruding in his/her life. You want to talk to them, they don't want to talk to you (most of the time anyway). I've found the best way to connect with my teenage daughter is to enter her world and do the things she likes to do. There's a saying that if you want to understand your child's world you have to play with them, no matter how old they are.You don't always have to be even directly interacting with your teen in order to be involved in their world. Just being around the same influences they are, and taking an interest in their activities, lets them know that you car...(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Baby Care Info | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting