Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!
|
|
My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.
I was busy painting the backyard fence, when their ten-yearold son came out with the vacuum cleaner. He opened thefront panel, removed the bag, and put it in the bin. Then hetook a replacement bag, fitted it, and went back indoors -probably to get on with the vacuum cleaning!
Fifteen minutes later he came out with a large plasticrubbish bag and put it in the bin too. The young kid was atease with his chores. He was his usual pleasant self andthere was no sign of moodiness or resentment.
Clearly his parents had taught their kids in a way which -I have to admit!- my wife and I didn't teach ours.
When our family was growing we tended to do most of thechores ourselves. We were keen - well, my wife was keen! -to ensure that we shared the chores as a couple.
This approach backfired as the kids were growing. Sincethere was no clearly defined 'chore chart' and sincerequests for their help were only made occasionally, therewas a certain reluctance most of the time.
Even today there can be the odd dispute about who shouldwalk the dog - and loading the dishwasher, it seems, is oneof life's mysteries revealed only to parents.
So here's my advice:
Don't do what we did!
Be like our neighbours and start them young. Bring them upto realise that if you live in a home, you contribute to thehome. If they grow into this routine, there's unlikely to beresentment or ill-feeling - provided the chores areallocated fairly, of course.
What about parents whose older kids have got off lightly?
Well, you could continue to slave after your charges - butwhy not start a new regime?
One approach often suggested is that you appeal to theteenager's sense of duty, highlighting their obligations tothemselves and others.
But psychologists tell us that approach is the LEAST likelyto work with teens.
It's a fact of human nature that people tend to respond morewhen there's a clear benefit for themselves.
So why not stress the benefits of getting involved in thehousehold chores? Help them see it as an opportunity todevelop confidence and independence. When they go off tocollege or move into a flat or apartment, how are they goingto feel if they can't cope?
How are they going to look in front of friends if they can'tcook, can't wash and iron their clothes, and can't tidy upafter themselves? If they learn these skills, they won't bestranded!
If your kids are coming to household chores after years ofhaving things done for them, you may need to use a rewardsystem to help them over their inertia. No, not gold starsand trips to the zoo!
Rather, 'Mow the lawn and you can have the car on Fridaynight,' or, 'Let's see what you can do around the house andwe'll review your allowance.'
And remember to show them HOW it's done. You may want toconsider working with them the first few times, especiallyif it's a task they've never attempted before.
This approach has worked well for my wife and I, who arelate-starters in the 'chores for kids' stakes.
Remember, if things are done out of a sense of 'duty',people tend to be ambivalent. On the one hand they may feelobliged to get on with it, but on the other they may resentit - and that builds up ill-feeling.
Use rewards by all means, but it's better, I think, to helpour kids realise that doing the chores is part of theirdevelopment. That way they're more likely to do themwillingly.
This may be a tad idealistic, but this approach, whenblended with an attractive reward, can lead to a well-deserved, easier life for hard-pressed parents.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while othersfail?Frank McGinty is an internationally published author andteacher. If you want to develop your parentingskills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
|
|
|
How To Teach Your Children Courage
Courage means doing the right thing when it is hard, even when it means being called a "chicken" by others.A person with courage dares to attempt difficult thin...(related: Parenting)
Internet Dangers - Protecting Children From Internet Jeopardy
Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's internet activities and to observe their behavior with respect to any actions generated by the child's internet use. If children...(related: Parenting)
Helpful Tips For The Adoptive Grandparent
Few things are more completely enjoyable than becoming a grandparent. Grandchildren are one of life's joys, whether they come by birth or via adoption. All grandchildren are loved equally and are equally lovable.When a new family member is adopted, share your excitement. Share snapshots. Exclaim about the traits that make this child a prodigy! And know that adoption brings some unique challenges. Following are a few suggestions for navigating once you find you are a member of a complex family.People are fascinated by adoption, and this fascination can lead well-meaning frien...(related: Parenting)
Violence In Media
In the news, we hear and see an increasing number of reports about violence among children. This goes from rude fights on the playground to armed incidents in schools that result in injuries or even casualties.Now asking ourselves where this behaviour is originated, we quickly come to media as a scapegoat: TV violence, computer games and the Internet. Often we lack overview of what our children experience while dealing with these influences.And there lies the root problem. Various scientist groups have tried to prove the influence of visual violence on children's behaviour. There has been proof and counter-proof - so what we can conclude from this is that the connection betw...(related: Parenting)
Stress Is No Kiddy Matter
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives that we used to live as kids. This, I am absolutely sure of?.if there's nothing else in this world that I am confident about. Kids live such stressed lifestyles now that I feel that it's not even worth being a kid anymore and in fact, I'd rather be an adult, if I had a choice. Kids between the ages babies to 4 years old and during the preadolescent ages are t...(related: Parenting)
Child Education
The initial state of happiness about an own child is often overcome with annoyance after even a short period of time. Children quickly grow an own personality, and it's the most vital task of the parents to help develop it and give it a shape. Otherwis...(related: Parenting)
Detox To Help Conception
Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving your body may need a detox. The key to fertility is getting the body into its natural optimum balance, which is often thrown askew by junk food and the stress of modern life. Leading fertility experts believe there are three main factors that reduce fertility: stress, over-acidity in the body and hormonal imbalance. Fluctuating sugar levels can cause havoc with your hormones, and, just as a seed needs the right acid/alkaline balance in the soil, your eggs need the right environment fo...(related: Parenting)
My Sons Deployment
One of the most difficult struggles in life for a parent is the struggle that occurs when the parent is attempting to keep their child safe and the child is attempting to explore the world and find their place in it, often times not in the safest manner.A discussion of Inside Out cannot occur without me sharing some of my own personal struggl...(related: Parenting)
Power Foods For A Powerful School Lunch
There isn't a school day that goes by that I worry about my son's lunch. Of course, I ask myself the usual questions: Is he eating what he has in the bag? Will he trade his apple for a cookie? Will the school lunch he's ordering once a week be nutritious? He's a kid! He's not a fussy eater, but there are plenty of days that he has come home with a bag full of food. I'll ask him "what did you eat for lunch?" He always says, "nothing." What's a parent to do?Plenty of Mom's worry about what to feed their kids for lunch. They always ask me which foods are the best to pack. I believe there...(related: Parenting)
Dads, Give Them Household Chores
You have a chore to do around the house, and yourkids want to help out. You know it might be nicefor them to help, but you're feeling a bit impatient.And you know it might turn into a two hour project,with a big mess to clean up. A mess that could be avoided if you did it yourself....(related: Parenting)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | Baby Care Info | All Rights Reserved. | Parenting