How To Teach Your Children Love
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I was in the life insurance sales industry for over 8 years. One of best teaching that I have learned from the industry and found in all top sales professionals and successful individuals is:
"All super successful individuals love people more than they love money."
And it is their love for people that make them wealthy and rich.
I share this same teaching with my children since young. I truly believe that it will be the most important factors to help them become more successful in life.
Love refers to individual and personal caring that goes both beneath and beyond loyalty and respect. It includes the love for friends, neighbors and even adversaries. And most important of all, the lifelong commitment of love for the family.
We learn to love others by serving them and the love is unconditional. We may not always love those who serve us. Their love depending on how it is given, may spoilt us or intimidate us.
However unconditional, understanding and fully accepting love warms us without reservation and brings about our reciprocal love. We may not love those who serve us, but we definitely love those whom we serve.
I'd like to share the following tips where parents can give unconditional love to their children and giving them the opportunities to serve. They are also the things that I live by:
Clearly Separate Dissatisfaction With Behavior From Love of Child
Parents must always expect their children to make mistakes and occasionally demonstrate unacceptable behaviors despite many previous reminders.
When your child misbehave, it is your responsibility as parent to correct him. However at every instance of discipline, you need to reiterate that it is what the child did that you do not like and that your love for him cannot be altered by anything. Mentioned frequently to your children of all ages and back it up with a hug and physical affection.
Here is an example of what I did with my four-old-year daughter three weeks ago when she misbehaved in class by playing during lesson and not giving attention to what her teacher was teaching.
I reprimanded her. I said, "Ethel, I am really upset when you played with your friends in class while all of you are supposed to listen to what your teacher had to say. You are there in class to learn. Do you understand me?"
Her tears started to roll after a long pause. And I sternly continued "Dear, will you promise papa that you will pay attention in class and if your friends misbehave during lesson, you will be the leader by telling them to give respect and attention to your teacher while he is teaching?"
She nodded and more tears started to roll out from her eyes. After another long pause, she asked "Papa, will you still love me?"
I follow up by saying "Dear, papa is angry because of what you did. However I will always love you and as much as ever. Just promise me that you will be a good student in class and show respect to your teacher. Will you do that?"
She nodded and stood quietly, waiting for me to say more. Instead of continuing to reprimand her, I close the episode by saying "Come, let papa give you a hug."
She threw herself over me while tears continue to roll. From her eyes, I can tell that she knew that she was in the wrong and at the same, she felt a sense a security that her papa will always be there to love her, no matter what happen.
This event happened about three weeks ago from the time I am writing this. Since then, I have not hear any complain from the teacher. I hope our little girl will continue to be a good and attentive student in class.
Develop A Service Orientation
You and your children can learn collectively to love through serving. Serve in some kind of community projects where your family can help others who are in need. Look for charitable services that you can rendered as a family and that can involve your children. By serving others, you children will learn and appreciate the true meaning of love.
Taking Care of Younger Siblings
If you have children of 4-years-old and above, you can teach them love by giving them the privilege of helping and serving their younger siblings.
Call your older child a tutor and tell him that the younger child is a student. Tell the older one that he will have the opportunity of helping the little one in many ways. He can sit next to the child at meal time, helping him to cut the vegetable or meat into smaller piece and taking milk for him. He can also holds the hand of the younger one while traveling on the road. He can read bed time stories to the younger one or simply helping you to watch out for his siblings while you are having a quick shower.
Your older child will not only learn to love whom he serves but will have an added appreciation for you as his parent as he helps with things you usually do.
Show Physical Love
Parents should show their love openly and teach their children that overt affection and love is perfectly okay. Give hugs and kisses. Schooling children need to feel their parents' physical love just as much as when they are pre-schoolers. Give hugs to your children when they leave home for school, back home from outside, pop into bed etc - a sincere and fuzzy hug is appreciate by everyone. Be sure to tell your children verbally that you love them as well as providing your hugs.
Article by Alvin Poh, founder of Learning Champ, a parenting wesbite that provides information and resources to parents, who want to help their children develop the important skills and mind set for a brighter future -> http://www.alvinkh.per.sg/learningchamp
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