Got To, Get To ? Change The Way Your Family Thinks
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I recently heard a story that has literally changed the waythat I, and my family, think about life. The story is asfollows:
There was once a high-powered woman in her 30s who ran herown company and was massively successful in business. Yetevery single day, at 10am, she visited her elderly mother,who was in an old peoples' home. When asked if she couldattend meetings at that time, she would reply, "I'm sorry,I've got to visit my mother". She sometimes resented thecommitment and was occasionally ridiculed, but neverthelessanswered, "No, I'm sorry, I've got to visit my mother."
One day her mother died. Soon afterwards she was asked ifshe could make a meeting at 10am the following day. Shestarted to reply, "No, I'm sorry, I've got to visit mymother", but of course quickly realised that this was nolonger the case. Sadly, she realised that for many years shehad been saying, "I've got to visit my mother" when what she
should have instead been saying was, "I get to visit mymother". She would never "get to" visit her mother again.
So how does the story relate to other situations? I havebeen surprised by how many times the story has seemedappropriate since I heard it, just a few weeks ago. Itapplies to so many different aspects of family and workinglife, from the large to the mundane. For example, I firsttold my son the story when he was complaining about someextra French classes he was having at weekends ("I can'tbelieve I've got to go to the French tutor"). I explainedthat he is lucky to "get to" have the French classes: luckythat we care enough to notice he needs them, and lucky thatwe can afford to pay for them.
I thought of the story last night when my little girl wasusing every delaying tactic in the book about going to bed,and just refused to settle down. I caught myself thinking,"Oh no, I've got to go upstairs, miss the end of thetelevision show I'm watching, and calm her down and settleher into bed" ? but quickly replaced the thought withsomething along the lines of "I'm lucky that I "get to" spend5 quiet minutes with this funny, amazing little girl, evenif I am tired and could do with some rest!"
And I thought of the story again just this morning when thebeeper on my tumble dryer annoyed me into emptying my cleanwashing! I turned some very negative, lazy thinking aroundby reminding myself that I was lucky to have a tumble dryer,the clothes to put into it, and the family to be washingthem for! It was still a chore but somehow it didn't seemsuch a bad one anymore.
My husband reminds himself of the story when the alarm clockgoes off early in the morning and he struggles out of bedand to the train. He "gets to" go to work. Many people don't.And I think of it when I am sitting, uninspired, in front ofmy computer, wishing that I didn't have admin or websitechores to do for Activity Village. The thought doesn't lastlong. I may have admin and website chores to do, but I also"get to" provide activities and inspiration to parents,teachers and children around the world every week. How luckycan I be?
Lindsay Small is the creator and editor of ActivityVillage.co.uk - providing the ultimate one-stop resource forparents and teachers looking to educate and entertain theirkids. Visit the website at http://ww.ActivityVillage.co.ukor subscribe to the free newsletter athttp://www.ActivityVillage.co.uk/free_newsletter.co.uk
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